soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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