Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
