I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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