You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
