He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
