he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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