16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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