I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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