mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
