I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
