The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
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so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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