thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
