i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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