i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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