My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
