She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
