You really coming over, don't trick.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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