Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
