So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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