what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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