I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
