He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
