We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
