Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
