On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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