If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?