i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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