well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.