they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
