xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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