You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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