I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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