just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
