well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
