i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
