That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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