i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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