the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
