she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
