i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
