Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
