After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize