I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It all started with a game of naked twister.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
