Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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