I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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