My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
