I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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