just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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