Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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