They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
