Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
