Are we in a gay sports bar?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
