I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
