Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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