All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
not ubering you a puppy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
