Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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