I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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