Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize