Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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