He felt like a one man threesome
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
wow bdsm is so cute
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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