let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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