Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
