Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize