I skipped work to stalk him.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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