Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
