Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
