you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
