On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why did my mother make you get naked?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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