Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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