"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
